Falling in Love

These things dont go so well with me. Either I’m a friend or I’m not an option. I know I’m not good looking, the best personality or anything really. I am a sore eye to look at. But just thinking that one day I will be alone, and not being able to have kids that look like me. It’s so cliché what people say “There is that one person that is always going to be looking for you”. That’s bullshit, the sooner I realize that I will be alone than the faster I can cope with it. I hate seeing couples holding hands, kissing, having an intense hug. I want that, I want someone that loves me. And in the middle of the day when all is going wrong I can think to myself and remember I have someone that loves me. But I don’t. Which is why I probably buy things for my sister and others because I buy peoples love, almost every time I go to the mall. Which is frequently, I want someone to shop for, Have fun with. But I don’t. Which is good in a way that I don’t always have to depend on people. I can finally be independent! Making my own living, Spending money on myself. I’m just going to miss the wonders of love in life. Caring for one another. That kind of mushy stuff. I guess things don’t always go as planned…